Halo to all.
Consider these recent days rough and hard, and yes, insert sexual innuendo joke here. But seriously, you wondered how it felt to be ignored by others, especially your family? For example, during a typical family dinner, you took action of chatting random stuff out, but no one ended up hearing you, or someone else interrupted your line (It'd be worse if someone else responded to what they said instead of yours), or even they pretend that you did not say anything. I know at this point of time, your body would have immediately triggered to "Pissed Off" Mode. Yeah, I had such occurrences happen several times that I had already lost count.
Moreover, I had this feeling about others keeping secrets from me, particularly my parents. Sorry mom and dad, I love you two so much, but I just don't get it. Why do all those, when I already knew it from before...? Anyway, here was what happened a few days ago (Disclaimer: This was not to offend my parents at all. I am only feeling curious to what was going on. Secrets can't be forever kept.):
I was heading to the Philippine Embassy with my parents and maid to renew our passports. But that wasn't the main point. The main point was halfway through the process, I saw "familiar faces". I was about to tell mom about it, but knowing about what I was about to say, she quickly distracted me with who was I chatting with on the phone. Intriguing, using that kind of skill won't stray me off. Besides, I knew my parents had some kind of conflict with those "familiar faces", but they just won't tell me why, since they still see me not as an adult and say it does not matter to me.
My parents had a long history of conflicts with certain tenants. But there is something that triggered me to be really mad: Not telling me what REALLY happened, and instead use other reasons which they seem to not be heard as a LIE. Accidentally, many months ago, at home, while mom was inside the toilet, I saw her computer displaying her Facebook account settings, under Blocked People. The names listed were none other than those tenants they had a fight with, as well as those "familiar faces".
Anyway, upon seeing those "familiar faces", my parents decided to sit somewhere else farther away from them, whilst waiting for our maid to finish the renewing of her passport. What pissed me off further was when dad whispered something to my maid, and I obviously know it's about them. No wonder my maid, instead of him, went to the cashier to make payments.
All these ruined my happy mood for the day. Until now, I am still curious of why such conflicts happened. If only my parents simply told me about it, then my curiousness will finally be at ease. For what I saw, heard, and talked during that day, I tweeted these out:
- "See with your eyes... For my brain knows what familiarity surrounds me..."
- "As you get secretive, you end up pulling out distractions towards witnesses to avoid suspicion."
- "The smarts use intuition to know what you are up to... All you have to do is to just come clean and don't stray away further... Done."
I know we all had to move on for life to continue, but I get a feeling sometimes this will not lead towards a better future. Because... What if someday, you feel resentful and regretful for such actions that lead you and someone else to be apart from each other... I guess reconciliation has to happen in order to take such pains away. This is what I call "Moving Back". I may cover more about "Moving On" in a future blog, but for now, I should take a rest, since I am down with a slight runny nose and sore throat. I also have to finish up another project with my friends later on. Till then, see you starside.
"People ask you to move on, but sometimes there is no path for you to go. That is why, people move back their old path to retrace their steps, in order to reversify the effects of the fault they had committed."
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