(WARNING: Strong language.)
Perhaps some of you can relate to the current situations that have been revolving around yourselves lately. You know: The feeling that life seems gloomy or fucked up, just because some shitty virus caused prices to hike like it was climbing to the the goddamn peak of Everest. And the fact that it had shut the gates on what's beyond the eyes of wanderlust.
Pardon my explosive paragraph from earlier. Just need to let myself out. I'm already 28 years through my life cycle, and I never have ventured to a world beyond Southeast Asia.
The world out there has signalled me to discover new places, but hindrances always get in the way to cloud your dreams of exploration. And with time playing around, they get darker to a point that you'll never be able to end up catching a glimpse of the other side.
I frequently commute the airport during my free time, but not for the purpose of flying to places unknown to the memory of my mind. I sometimes look up to the sky; 787s taking off, 777s landing. And I'm just stuck here, only limited to the ability of imagining that I am aboard one of them.
People of my age would take their leave fulfilling their bucket list of countries. Where does that leave me? The same thing, but instead it's an endless fucking pile of bills. That wasn't all. The year 2022 became excruciatingly toxic that going and hiding in dark places lingered in my thoughts.
The fact that I was the only child, I had to take responsibility as the main breadwinner of my family ever since I started working. I had the heaviest responsibility to carry in keeping my family stable. Not just financially, but emotionally and mentally as well.
Of course this is where they amplify the likelihood of me easily burning out or becoming unmotivated to do my hobbies. And with this piece of shit virus in the way, the situation ended up becoming worse than you think.
Sure I had eventful times with friends during this period of hard times and I am thankful for those small moments, but all these 'challenges' I have faced from 2021 till 2022 have been more overwhelming than the average daily amount of Dopamine in my systems. Pardon my geekiness.
But you know, amidst of all these fuckity piles of shits that I'd been through, the year 2023 told me to still stand, breathe, and stay hopeful that the tides will change in my favour.
What I really need is a sense of normalcy like how it was many years ago. When I could worry little about how much money I have left in my pockets or when I don't develop second thoughts on buying something hefty. Simply put, when money no longer becomes the primary concern of the hindrances in my life.
Heh, the reality of adulthood. Am I right? Fighting through survival, persevering through pain, but still feeling thankful that I'll make it to tomorrow.
On a more optimistic note, 2023 was showing glimpses of 2019. When I can forget the damages this asshole of a pandemic has caused.
The holidays during the end of the year has always been a refreshing time. Feast with the family. Play Halo. Hang out with friends. Appreciate life to the fullest, because our time here is limited.
With that, I wish everyone Merry Christmas & Happy New Year 2024. Do what you do best to make yourself feel humble.
Till then, see you starside.
"The most vital thing to do in life: Breathe."
