(WARNING: Strong Language.)
Halo to all.
As of the moment I'm penning this blog, I'm down deep in my financial situation. Sure, I'm working full-time with a salary that is indeed much more well-off than others. But, whatever I earn is just sufficient to meet the payments of the many essential bills that have to be paid every month. My only remaining funds is only enough for transport or budgeted food (E.g. Hawker food centres).
The thing is, I am stuck on that cycle, month after month after month since 2021. Kinda like as if, I work and get rewarded, but the only reward that I'm able to afford is only just one full meal from a casual restaurant, at the maximum of one person, per month.
Even so, relying on credit card or personal loan in the long run is unhealthy, because when interest accumulates exponentially every month, you'll realize that you will slowly and progressively lack the means to pay them up.
By the time I lost the power to pay up essential bills via credit cards as they had reached their maximum limit, I had no choice but to rely on my salary to do so. This of course has dire consequences as the months pass by: Rationing payment for the other essential bills (Also known as prioritizing on what needs to be paid first rather than paying all.).
There are so many factors that magnetize together to contribute a force so strong that there is little money to spare.
Firstly: Rising costs of living & inflation troubles. If I go by simple math, the pricier the groceries get, the lesser you can buy back home as compared to the previous years.
Secondly: Salaries gained from one source just isn't enough, because even an enhancement isn't enough to cope with the inflation, hence the lack of financial stability. I'm sure many of you have already resorted to doing side-jobs or gigs.
Lastly: That fucking virus. I swear to God that that is the root cause for these factors I have listed out. Imagine if this shitfuck of an infection did not exist in the first place, the world's economy would have still maintained itself well today, and we won't have to deal with all these $5 chicken rice meals (A value like that is already considered expensive in Singapore as compared to a $3 chicken rice meal years ago.).
I'm already on the verge of not being able to do the things that many others from my generation are doing right now, and that is to explore the world near and far.
The lack of achieving that wanderlust is already bad enough to suffocate one with the mundane things in life day by day until you get mentally exhausted to a point that you'd end fed up with it.
Ultimately, I'm just stuck in a loop that I could not break. My mind could only go as far as wondering where can the loop be broken, but never about when are you finally out of it.
Take an example of me going to the airport. I'm not there to catch a flight, no. I just only watch people have the freedom to go somewhere. Or me going to malls. I'm not there to dine in a restaurant I crave. I just only watch people satisfy their appetite by eating there.
Life without a rich-enough finance is grim. It literally fucking sucks.
My happiness is diminishing day by day. I don't even know if there is a particular someone out there who can inspire and motivate me to see life in a much more vibrant setting. And maybe allow good karma to exist for once.
I'll see you all again, when all these feelings of lacking the energy to do what I want dissipates.
Till then, see you starside.
"If in doubt of your actions, just know that there are multiple versions of you from other universes doing the same thing."
